The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Beast ...
by Riiase
Summary: RTT/Bombarulina fic - Rated Pg-13 for some violence and one cuss word ... and ... very slight themes. I did say slight.


The Rum Tum Tugger Is a Curious Beast ...

"That cat!!!" yelled Mrs Collins, watching ONE of her cats flee her bedroom after breaking a mirror.

Mr. Collins ran upstairs at the sound of smashing "What is it, dear?!"

"That horrible cat!! Why do we keep them?" moaned Mrs Collins.

"For the children! Maggie and Peter love those cats." Mr. Collins heard himself repeat that excuse.

"Well, I'm going to find out which it was!"

Rumpelteazer watched in amusement as Mungojerrie skidded down the stairs and into the playroom, where they slept.

"Wot was that?" she giggled, pouncing at her brother.

Jerrie was out of breath.

"I ... think ... a mirror ..." he grinned.

"Quick! Act natural!" hissed Rumpelteazer as Mrs Collins thundered into the room.

"Which one of you two bad cats has broken my mirror?!" she glared at each cat, then decided.

She lifted Rumpelteazer by the scruff of the neck, smacked her hard across the top of her backside, and carried her to the front door, dumping her ungracefully outside.

Mungojerrie sat up, immediately feeling guilty for getting Teazer into trouble she for once didn't deserve.

He bounded up to the windowsill, and watched her slink away, tears dropping from her eyes from the pain of the smack.

Jerrie almost flew to the front door, yowling to be allowed out.

Mrs. Collins looked down at the cat.

"Alright, go on then!" she pulled open the front door and Jerrie raced after Rumpelteazer.

"TEAZER!!!" Rumpelteazer turned around, and saw Jerrie bulldoze straight into a lamp-post.

Teazer gasped, and ran back to where Jerrie lay, dazed, flat on his back with his legs in the air.

"You okay, Jer?" she looked down at him.

"I ... think so ..." he carefully flipped over, and shaking his head.

Teazer had one last look to make sure.

"Teazer ... I'm really sorry about ... that." he nodded to Teazer's slight limp.

"That?" she repeated "Nah, did that to meself about two days ago, escaping the boy."

Mungojerrie shuddered.

"Well?" said Teazer.

"Well what?" Jerrie looked blank.

"We goin' to the junkyard or not?" she grinned at him and trotted off in the direction of the Jellicle Junkyard.

Mungojerrie pulled himself together, and staggered to his feet.

Stupid lamp-post ... he always managed to hit it.

"Really though!!!" insisted Pouncival excitedly "I can!!!"

"Alright," said Alonzo, frantically looking around for a distraction ... any distraction from Pouncival showing him how well he could flip off of a pile of junk onto the car.

Nothing.

So he watched Pouncival again, and again.

"Hi, Alonzo!" greeted Rumpelteazer as she ... limped into the Junkyard followed by Mungojerrie as he staggered in after her, almost cross eyed.

"What happened to you two?" grinned Alonzo as Jerrie stumbled dizzily into a pile of old newspaper.

"Jerrie 'it the lamp-post again an' I've been evading the boy," explained Teazer, watching Jerrie resurface covered in shreds of old newspaper.

"Hi ...uh ... in a second when I can see ..." groaned Mungojerrie.

Teazer caught him as he swayed.

"Jer, I think you woz 'it 'arder that you's lettin' on." she said, placing him on the ground.

Mungojerrie grinned lopsidedly at her "I'm fine, Teazer ... who are your friends?"

"Huh?"

Alonzo smiled and said "I think maybe we should let him lie down for a while."

"Me too," agreed Teazer and she helped Alonzo to carry Mungojerrie to a card board box, where they made him comfortable, and Teazer promised to be back in a couple of hours for him.

"Goodbye Teazer and her seeexy friends ..." whimpered Jerrie drunkenly.

Teazer shook her head, wondering if she had picked up the more intelligent qualities of their parents, and trotted away with Alonzo.

Etcetera, Electra and Jemima watched Bombarulina in awe.

All three of them wanted to be just like her when they got older, after all, she got the Tugger to give her the time of day.

The three spying kittens were hidden behind a large wheel, watching Bomba and Demeter talking.

"Where is that beast?" wondered Bomba, evidently meaning the Tugger.

Demeter growled something the kittens weren't meant to hear, and they all looked at each other furtively.

"Oh, Demeter, just because you're afraid of all the boys doesn't mean I can't have a little fun!" Bomba ruffled the fur on her face, making it look fluffy.

"I'm going to find The Tugger myself!"

"You know, you don't always have to advance! You could wait for him to -"

"Honey, I'd grow a beard if I did that! Ciao!" Bomba slunk away.

Demeter sighed, and went the opposite way.

"Ciao!" giggled Etcetera.

"Ahem."

"Bombarulina?!!!" squeaked Jemima.

"No, I'm the Cat's Meow," Bombarulina smiled "What are you guys doing here?"

"Well ... uh ..." stammered Jemima.

"We were ... learning?" tried Electra, it didn't work.

"Learning ...?"

"How to be like you!" the bold Etcetera blurted unwittingly.

Bomarulina paused, as if thrown off guard.

This new feeling didn't last long for her.

"You don't want to learn my nasty ways," she purred and turned to leave before the kittens said anything else.

"Yeah we do!" spoke up Jemima suddenly.

"Why?" Bomba looked back over her sleek shoulder at them.

"Because ..." Etcetera paused "The Rum Tum Tugger takes notice of you!"

Bomba liked that. Alot.

She turned around.

"Well, how are you going to learn anything if you spy on your teacher?" she grinned "C'mon."

The three kittens exchanged amazed looks.

"Really?" they followed her.

Alonzo and Teazer wandered through the Junkyard, absently chattering about everything and anything they felt like.

"Sooo ..." said Teazer as they ran out of conversation and junkyard to walk around.

"Yeah ..."

"Hi Cassandra!" called Teazer.

Alonzo's head whipped around, but ... Cassandra wasn't there.

"I hate you." he grinned at Rumpelteazer.

"I thought so," Teazer winked at him "I think everyone thinks so."

"Huh? Am I that obvious?" whimpered Alonzo.

"Yep! Hey ... I better get Jerrie!" Teazer realised how long they'd been wandering "I'll see ya later, Alonzo!" she half ran half limped towards the other end of the Junkyard.

Mungojerrie woke up feeling uncomfortable and stiff.

Slowly he stretched his legs out. They touched something different ... cardboard. That damn lamp-post ... he felt the lump on his head.

"Hey, Jerrie!!!" well ... there was only ONE Teazer this time.

"'Ello." grinned Jerrie, and he clambered slowly out of the box.

They stood together, silently for a moment.

"We should find something to do..." tried Jerrie.

"Oh, I know!"

Bombarulina and her three followers were making their way up the Tugger's street, towards his home.

"Stay back here, i'm going to try to get him outside." whispered Bombarulina, leaving the kittens sheltered by a trash can.

Bombarulina strolled casually up to a nearby house, with ivy covering it's walls.

Quickly she bounded up the ivy, if she was too slow she would fall.

She reached the first floor, and she leaped neatly to the windowsill of an upstairs room.

Through the window, she could see the Tugger lounging on his mistress's bed.

Lucky guess, she thought, relieved.

Gently, she tried tapping the window with her claws.

No response.

Obviously the Tugger was asleep.

Bombarulina pushed the window with all her feline strength. It budged! Only a few centimetres, but one more would be far enough.

Jemima gasped.

"She's going inside!!!!"

"No way!" whispered Etcetera.

Bomba crept further forward, the Tugger lay sound asleep blisfully unaware that she was about to -

POUNCE!!!!

Bombarulina landed heavily on the Tugger's stomach, causing him to wake up rather rapidly.

"Bomba!!!!" he yowled.

"Ssssh!" she hissed at him "Do you want your mistress up here?"

"Nope!" decided The Tugger immediately.

Bombarulina suddenly realised what they were like.

She was practically straddling him, with her front paws on his chest.

He was rendered powerless to her.

"Well ..." she said in a husky whisper and licked his nose slowly.

The Tugger blinked.

Wow! She had made the Rum Tum Tugger FLINCH.

"Bombarulina. Get off of me." he wriggled underneath her, still utterly powerless.

"Uh uh," she grinned at him then started to tickle his stomach, causing him to curl up, struggling not to giggle.

"Cut it out!!!" he mewed helplessly.

The kittens waiting below heard The Rum Tum Tugger's pleas, and they all began to giggle.

Bomba was better than they thought.

"Okay! Okay!!! Whatever you want!!!" whimpered the Tugger, he was glad no one could see this - if anyone else had been there he would have reacted quite differently.

"Alright ... but only if you come out."

"Aaaw..." groaned the Tugger exaustedly "It looks cold."

"Well ... I guess I'll just have to break a few things in here ..." joked Bombarulina, looking around as if she was gathering her ideas.

"NO!!!" yowled the Tugger, forgetting his mistress was right downstairs "I'm already in trouble!" he lowered his voice.

"What for?" Bombarulina decided to role off of him, and she settled down next to him on the quilt.

"Getting into the fridge ..." began the Tugger "Jumping on the table when someone called 'My Boss' was over, she yelled at me even BEFORE that happened, and for begging to be allowed out to go to the junkyard, and for being me ..." he finished melodramatically.

Bombarulina giggled as he pretended to swoon.

"Don't be so pathetic," she chastised him playfully "The window's OPEN, we can get down that way!"

"Well ..." the Tugger looked apprehensive, but it seemed that he had no choice, because at that moment in time, The Tugger's owner began to come upstairs.

"Oh, no ..." moaned Bombarulina, filled with trepidation, the worst that could happen to her was a good scalding ...

"I can't! Run!" hissed the Tugger.

"Well ... I ..." Bombarulina was indecisive, which was probably what doomed her fate.

"Oh, Benjy ...?" the woman called Tugger by his owner-given name - he cringed at the sound of it.

Bombarulina felt sorry for him - but her name was Mittens, nothing could be THAT bad.

"OH!!!" the woman glared at Bomba, and snatched her by the collar.

Bombarulina began to struggle, as she felt the collar cut off her windpipe.

"Tugger ... she's killing me!!!" she wheezed as the Tugger sadly watched her dragged away.

Luckily for Bomba, the woman wasn't killing her, she was merely carrying her to the front door, out of which she was unkindly tossed. As she gathered her bearings, a pot of freezing water was emptied all over her.

She stood outside, as if frozen to the spot, shivering.

A few seconds later, the Tugger's head appeared at the window.

"Bomba? BOMBARULINA?!!!"

"W-what?"

"I'll be right down."

"O...okay ..."

The kittens watched, wide eyed, as water was emptied all over Bombarulina.

"Oh no ..." Etcetera covered her eyes with her paws.

"What'll we do?" whimpered Jemima.

"Calm down for a start ... and ... wait, I suppose ..." replied Electra.

The Tugger carefully picked his way down the ivy.

"Well, that was life threatening," he joked as he reached Bombarulina.

She glared at him.

"Whoa ..." he knew THAT look ... that was ye ancient look of "Tugger is in TROUBLE now".

Bombarulina turned her back on him, and began to walk away, forgetting the kittens.

"Bomba ..." called the Tugger "C'mon!!! I'm sorry!!!" he chased after her up the street.

"You could've just come out, you know!" she hissed.

"Well ... yes, but from my point of view -"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

They walked in silence.

Tugger suddenly looked around in an alarmed manner.

Bombarulina couldn't resist, "What? what is it?" she asked.

"I haven't got a clue where I am ..." groaned the Tugger "Oh, boy ..."

"Why does she do that anyway?" Bombarulina went back to her rampage.

"What? Throw water? Because she dislikes strange cats being near me ... she thinks all cats are strays except me... she's ... protective ..." The Tugger tried desperately to explain.

"Oh, so now I'm STRANGE am I?!!!"

"Must you twist my words?"

Mungojerrie nodded to Teazer, who grinned slyly at each other.

"Right." whispered Teazer.

"Right ... which one is that?" Jerrie looked at his paws, a bit confused.

"That one." giggled Teazer, pointing to Jerrie's right paw.

Jerrie nodded.

"And what might you two be so giggly about?!" demanded a decidedly Scottish voice.

"Skimbleshanks?" Teazer got a fright, and leaped about ten feet in the air, landing neatly on her feet, wide eyed and the fur on her tail all standing on end.

Jerrie looked up almost sleepily "Eh? 'Ello Skimble!"

Skimble grinned pleasantly at them "What might you two be doing?" he asked again "Yer a couple 'a scamps if ever ah saw one!"

Teazer smiled "Jus' playin' matchmak'rs!" she said cheekily winking at Skimble.

Skimbleshanks looked confused for a moment, then he smiled back and said "Who's the unlucky couple?"

"Cassie and Alonzo!" said Jerrie excitedly, then changing his tone to a more adult one "But this is all young Rumpelteazer's idea, of course."

"Of course."

Rumpelteazer sniffed "I'm not that much young'r than ya!"

Skimble smiled at the sibling banter.

"So, what's the plan?!" he asked, inviting himself to join in.

Teazer was surprised at first, then began whispering avidly.

"OH! SO NOW I'M A WORD TWISTING STRANGE DISEASED STRAY CAT, AM I?!" roared Bombarulina.

"That isn't what I said!!! And you made diseased up!" accused the Tugger he looked around again "Bomba - let's go back ... I don't know where we are and it's getting DARK."

"What are you, a kitten?! Oh my god ..." Bombarulina whirled around to face the Tugger.

"What?"

"The kittens ... they were hiding outside your place ... We ... I left them!"

"WHAT?!!! What were the kittens doing with you?!" The Tugger was frantic, his reputation could be in tatters.

"They ... wanted to watch me ..." Bombarulina looked away, embarrassed.

"Watch you WHAT?"

"Well ... they like YOU and they know you and I are friends and they wanted to see how I got on your goodside." Bomba decided that adjusting the truth here would be good for her.

"Well ... we need to go back!!!" decided the Tugger, and he about-turned.

"I don't know how ..." whimpered Bombarulina softly.

"WHAT?"

"I was so mad and I just needed to walk it off and ... and ..." she began to cry quietly, she turned away, trying to hide her tears from The Tugger.

"Hey ... don't panic ... we can always just follow our own scents back home ..."

"Uh uh!!" sniffled Bombarulina "The wind's blowing across the street ... we'll never pick it up...oh, Tugger what have I done?"

"Well," the Tugger was about to make a list, but realising the state of Bomba, he chose not to. "From my place i'm sure they could make it back to the Junkyard no problem."

"You think?"

"Sure, no problem at all. Of course, what about us?"

Etcetera, Jemima and of course Electra finally crawled back to the junkyard.

They had waited patiently outside the Tugger's house for a long time.

They soon realised that Bombarulina was gone, and that they needed to tell Munkustrap about it.

He listened, almost the way a concerned father would, to their tale.

"And then this mean ol' lady threw cold water all over Bombie and she gotted REAL mad!!" Etcetera was talking so fast her words sometimes didn't even constitute as a real language, to Cats or otherwise.

"Yeah!" agreed Electra "and then Tugger jumped down from the window--"

"Tugger?!" Munkustrap repeated, and he thought 'That cat drags trouble behind him like a Pollicle on a leash'.

"Yes!" butted in Etcetera again "and Bomba was so angry at him that she stormed away, and we thought we should wait for her, incase she got worried about us, but then she didn't come back and now we're worried about her!"

Munkustrap wasn't sure how serious this incident was - after all, the Tugger could've just taken Bomba somewhere to calm her down and dry her off... he decided he would wait.

"Well," he told the kittens "I think we'll wait until it gets very dark before we panic - they could have just gone mousing or something."

The kittens were doubtful, Bombarulina? Mousing? Not likely, and the Tugger ... well ... he'd caught a few, but never hunted regularly like Pouncival, Tumblebrutus and Plato did.

But, they did not argue with Munkustrap, instead, they tiredly meandered towards a comfortable napping spot.

Jemima lingered.

"Something else, Jemima?" wondered Munkustrap.

"Well ..." she began shyly "I'm just really worried that's all ..."

Munkustrap sighed - he hoped Bombarulina realised how much of a role model she was to the kittens.

"Don't worry, little one, she'll be fine."

Jemima smiled, feeling reassured somewhat, and joined the others.

Munkustrap sighed again.

Skimleshanks lay in wait for Cassandra.

By luck, she passed his hiding place, taking a stroll.

"Why hello, lovely Cassandra!" called Skimble, and joined her.

"Hi, Skimble," smiled Cass "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, just the company I suppose - you know, you don't really get to meet other cats on the Sleepy Car Express."

"Oh, okay!" agreed Cassandra, and she and Skimble walked together for about two minutes, exchanging gossip and news.

Teazer and Jerrie were hot on Alonzo's tail, they had trailed after him all over the junkyard.

"I'm goin' out now." whispered Teazer.

"Now?" asked Jerrie.

"Yes, is that bad?" asked Teazer.

"No." said Jerrie, acting hurt, "I was just making sure that's what you said."

Teazer grinned at him, and walked out to meet Alonzo.

"Hi Alonzo, what's eatin' ya?" she asked brightly.

"Midgies." he replied, swatting at one of the tiny bloodsucking beasts.

Teazer giggled, and waited for an advancement on 'Midgies'.

"And," here it came "I haven't seen Cassandra ALL day!"

Teazer nodded as if she understood, but she didn't, because she had seen nothing but Cassandra all day. She'd been following her for hours.

Alonzo sighed, and allowed his long black tail to trail the ground.

Teazer was glad he was looking at the ground, it meant he couldn't see Skimble approaching with Cassandra in tow.

Okay ... one ... two ... three ...

"Tugger ... where are we ...?" The Tugger couldn't handle a situation like this - hysterical kittens were easily dealt with (yowl for Jellylorum, and when she appears say 'I have no idea what happened, she just started crying') - but Bombarulina was a grown cat ... and a very attractive one at that ... how was he supposed to comfort her?

"Well," he said "I'd say we're still in London."

That got him a swipe, but no claws, he noted as he dodged.

"Okay, okay," he acknowledged he was talking like an idiot on speed "But Bombie, I really don't know!"

"And what happened to the kittens?!!"

Tugger sighed. 

Not again.

It was very dark now, and they still hadn't moved.

"Alright!" one of them had to take charge, for four hours the Tugger had been waitng and hoping that Bombarulina would do it, but she was hysterical, which was unlike her, and now it was really getting cold.

"What?"

"If we don't know the way back home, we need to find somewhere to sleep tonight, right?" he awaited her approval.

She nodded.

"Okay, come on then. leave something here so we know it when we come back tomorrow!" the Tugger instructed 'It must be the Munkustrap within' he thought wryly.

Bombarulina found a round, flat pebble, and she moved it beside a post-box.

"Okay?" she seemed to have relaxed a little.

"Yeah..." he seemed to pause for a moment, then broke the silence by saying "Right! Uh ... let's go this way!"

He nudged Bombarulina with his nose to get her moving. 

She stood up, and stretched out her limbs, still stiff from sitting still for so long.

They began to wander.

They wandered around the streets for what seemed like a lifetime, in complete silence.

Eventually they dragged themselves wearily up an alley, and collapsed beside an over turned rubbish bin.

"Oh ... I'm tired ..." groaned the Tugger, and he began to kick the trash out of the bin.

Soon it was emptied, and he ran over to a pile of newspaper leaning against the wall, dragging a couple of sheets of it into the bin, so they would have something drier to sleep on than the interior of the trash can.

The Tugger waited for Bombarulina to go inside, but she clearly wanted him to go in first.

So he did. He settled half way up the bin, right in the middle.

Bombarulina followed him in, but he was surprised when she didn't lie down beside him.

Usually he couldn't escape her or her advances ... maybe she'd finally lost interest in chasing him...?

Bombarulina lay as close to the opening of the trash can as she could get, without actually being outside.

The Tugger watched her for a few moments, then dejectedly laid his head down on his paws, and shut his eyes.

A few minutes later, he could hear her crying again.

Something was really wrong this time! she had been crying on and off for hours, and Bomba didn't usually cry for much.

He still had no idea what he was doing, but he stood up, and moved towards her.

"Bombarulina ... c'mon, it's too cold to stay up here."

Bombarulina didn't reply, but instead moved back before he could say or do anything else.

"Bomba ..." he sat next to her.

She lay down, so The Tugger was sitting over her.

Tentativley he began to lick the salty tears off of her cheeks.

'I still have no idea what I'm doing' he inwardly groaned, but Bombarulina didn't seem to be complaining.

Soon, she had stopped crying, and looked pretty comfortable nestled into the Rum Tum Tugger's side.

Teazer and Skimbleshanks each fled their companions, disappearing into the depths of the junkyard.

Alonzo looked up abruptly, where ...?

Cassandra was standing up in front of him, looking behind her.

"Well ... where did...?" they both aid to themselves, in unison.

Alonzo grinned shyly, and looked away, then turned back to her and said "Have you seen Rumpelteazer?"

"No," said Cassandra, still absently looking around.

"What are you looking for?" Alonzo carefully took a few small steps forward.

"Uh ...Skimble was here a few seconds ago ..." said Cassandra, sounding confused.

"Oh ... well ... uh ..." Alonzo desperately grasped for something else to say.

And uncomfortable silence settled over the two of them.

Cassandra looked alot like she was going to make her excuses and leave.

Alonzo definately didn't want that ...

"Uh ... are you hungry?" he asked suddenly.

Cassandra paused for a moment, then said "A little ... why?"

Rumpelteazer groaned from where she was watching "If he suggests going mousing I'll -"

"Well, do you wanna go to the back of the restaurant?" asked Alonzo, then, realising Cassandra obviously didn't know where or what the restaurant was he added "It's this uh restaurant where me and a couple of others sometimes go to get food - they give us leftovers, or if they made too much food we get that, too."

Cassandra smiled at him.

"Okay."

"YEAH!!!" yowled Rumpelteazer as they walked away.

"What?" asked Jerrie as he walked over "Why are you yelling like that?"

"It worked!" mewed Teazer eccstatically.

Bombarulina woke up, yawning and stretching.

As she woke up properly, she couldn't remember where she was, she leapt up with a start, causing the Tugger to stir.

"...hmmmph ...it's too early..." he groaned.

"Tugger?!"

"Huh?" the Tugger looked up at Bombarulina, his eyes still have closed and crusty with sleep.

"Where are we?!"

"Relax ... we'll find out then we can go home."

Bomba relaxed a little, and then walked outside the trashcan, stretching again.

The Tugger watched her ... Bombarulina was definately a far cry from the kittens, he noted appreciatively.

He stood to follow her, and cracked the top of his head off the side of the trash can.

"Ooooh that stung ..." he shook his head as he padded outside.

"Right ... where do we go from here?" he asked her, looking around.

"I don't know," she replied, looking deeply into his eyes "Where should we go?"

"Are we talking about the same thing?" he asked, never taking his gaze away from her.

"I think so ..." whispered Bombarulina, moving closer to him.

"Well, well, well ..." growled a low voice "If it isn't little Bombarulina and her pansy little boyfriend ..."

Bombarulina hissed.

"Bomba? Do you know this dog?" demanded the Tugger.

"Unfortunately, yes. Scamp, what are you doing out here?" she asked.

"I could ask the same of you, Mittens!" Scamp snarled back at her. He was a young-ish golden retriever, with amber eyes and a long fluffy tail.

The Tugger was even more confused now.

Bombarulina moved away from the Tugger, and said to Scamp "Go home, little doggy ..."

Scamp laughed cruelly "I bet you don't even know where home is from here!"

Bombarulina stalled, telling Scamp that this was true.

He laughed and said "I suppose you want me to take you home, you two are pathetic!!!"

Bombarulina hissed again, and slashed at the dog's nose, leaving it tattered and bleeding.

Scamp yelped, then whimpered a little.

"Bad dog," purred Bombarulina, back in control of the situation and the dog.

The Tugger carefully pawed at his own nose, feeling the dog's pain.

"We'll get home on our OWN, thank you!" sniffed Bombarulina "get out of here, Scamp!"

The dog, seeming much less fearsome and more like a poor little puppy, trotted away with his tail between his legs.

"You live with him?" asked the Tugger in awe.

"No, he lives with me, and only because I allow it." corrected Bombarulina, exaggerating her power over the pup.

The Tugger grinned at Bombarulina, then said "Right ... where were we going to go?"

"Uh ... that way?" suggested Bomba, and she began to walk back up the alley way the way they had entered it the night before.

"Well ... here's that pebble ..." commented Bombarulina as they passed the post box.

"Right ... I suppose it would be back along this way then." agreed the Tugger.

They walked along in silence for what seemed like a lifetime.

"Hey!" said Bombarulina excitedly "Isn't that Alonzo over there? With Cassandra?"

"Yeah! C'mon!" the Tugger was about to lead the way, when Bombarulina grabbed his tail.

"Do you think we should?" she asked uncertainly "I mean ... they might want to be alone...and we smell like trash."

"Well ... oh, okay, but ... I'm hungry." whimpered the Tugger.

"Aaaw ..." Bombarulina pretended to mother him "Let's go find something to eat."

They trotted side by side round to the back door of a restaurant, where they sat waiting.

"What's taking so long?!" whined Tugger.

"Let's just get their attention, shall we?" Bombarulina sidled up to one of the large metal bins and pushed it over.

The crashing sound that it made could probably be heard all the way back to the Jellicle Junkyard.

The door flew open, and an angry, flustered-looking woman appeared.

"Eh?!" she roared "Cats?" she softened a little then, and she threw out a few scraps of meat.

"There, I got you something to eat, happy?" said Bombarulina as she turned her back on the meat.

The Tugger looked confused, then he picked up one of the scraps of meat and took it to her.

"You want some?" he asked.

Bombarulina smiled at him "No, that's okay I'm not very hungry ..."

He looked at her, as if to make sure, then he swallowed the meat.

Soon Bomba and the Tugger were back in a neighbourhood that they both knew.

"So ..." he said, struggling with his words "You want me to walk you home?"

Bombarulina looked at him, as if she was studying him.

Then she smiled and said "Would you?"

They began to walk again, Tugger's eyes glued on Bombarulina, whcih meant she had to tell him when he was about to walk into things.

She began to look tired.

The Tugger started getting worried as she looked fainter and fainter.

"You should've had something to eat ..." he said, then he pulled a single strip of meat from under his collar "Here..."

Bombarulina shook her head absently.

"Alright ..." said the Tugger and threw the meat away.

As they reached Bomba's house he said "Maybe I better stay back here ..."

"Thanks, Tugger ..." said Bomba, and gave him a friendly lick on the cheek.

"Bye, Bomba ..." the Tugger waited for her to be allowed into the house.

"MITTENS!!!" yelled her owner "Where have you been for so long? I've been worried sick about you!!"

The Tugger saw Bombarulina being scooped up into her mistress's arms as the door swung shut.

Now he would have to go and face the music at his house...

"Benjy!!!" here it came ... "Never, ever run away again!"

Wait ... he had only been gone for two days and one night ...

"You smell like the inside of a bin! you need a bath!"

The Tugger's eyes bulged, and he dug his claws into his owner's back.

"Benjamin, I will not have you smelling like a stray!"

"But I can clean myself! I do it all the time! There's no need to put me in a bath full of WATER!!!" he mewed pathetically as the taps were turned on.

A few days later, at the Jellicle Junkyard, Alonzo and Cassandra were sitting alone, talking quietly and nuzzling occasionally - apparently the date went well, all was quiet in the junkyard, until Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer flew in at high speed.

"Stupid Pollicles!!!" hissed Mungojerrie and the distant sound of barking could be heard.

"Are you guys alright?" asked Alonzo, but he didn't budge from Cassandra's side.

The Tugger paced towards them, looking impatient and grumpy.

"What's up, Tugger?" asked Pouncival as he bounded around, as if hyperactivity was just part of who he was.

"Bombarulina was taken to the vet this morning ..." he answered flatly.

"Really?" Pouncival stopped bounding and looked serious for a moment "Why?"

"I don't know! I was just ... uh ... mousing in that area and I saw them taking her into the car, and I asked her what was going on and she said she was being taken to the vet."

As the Tugger finished saying this, Demeter stormed over, looking like she was about to blow a fuse right at the Tugger.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!" she screeched at him "Bombarulina's just back from the vet! Apparently he says she's depressed! It must be YOUR fault!"

"My fault?" repeated the Tugger in a squeaky voice "How?" he forced his voice back to normal.

"I DON'T KNOW!!! I asked her where she'd been and she said with you, and i asked her what you did to her and she just kept saying nothing! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!!!"

"Nothing!" promised the Tugger "I swear! nothing!"

"Well, you must've done something!" Demeter stormed away again.

The Tugger looked at Pouncival, and he shrugged before walking away.

The Tugger turned, and fled the Junkyard - he needed to see for himself if it was his fault Bombarulina was sick.

As the Tugger ran up the stairs to Bombarulina's front door, her slowed down, realising that the family probably wouldn't want him hanging around, and that Scamp could be anywhere.

"Bomba?" he mewed, pacing around below the lounge window.

She appeared, hopping neatly onto the window sill.

She looked exausted.

"Bombarulina?" he mewed again.

"What?" 

That sounded almost cold, though the Tugger "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she said, acting aloof.

"I just thought ... well ... I ...never mind ..." the Tugger turned away with his tail quite literally between his legs.

Bombarulina jumped off the windowsill.

The Tugger was so busy feeling sorry for himself that he didn't hear Scamp sneak up from behind him.

"Hello, little kitty!" growled the dog.

The Tugger's head whipped around.

He froze on the spot.

Scamp was much bigger than he remembered ...and the Tugger had never been much of a fighter like Alonzo, Tumblebrutus, plato or even Munkustrap.

The dog leapt at him, and the Tugger noticed his nose was still damaged quite visibly.

The Tugger closed his eyes, and felt the dog's jaws close around his midriff.

Pain seared through the tugger's boddy like lightning.

This dog was going to tear him to shreds if he didn't DO something ... he scratched out at the dog, and his claws caught the dog's hind leg.

The shock of the pain in it's legs made it release the Tugger, who collapsed on the ground below the dripping teeth of the hell hound.

The dog moved slowly towards the terrified cat's throat, he was going to make a meal out of this kitty.

"Scamp?!" yelled the dog's owner "Leave that cat alone!!!"

Scamp obediently released the Tugger, and trotted proudly over to his owner.

The Tugger hauled himself up and limped painfully down to the street.

Bombarulina hadn't heard all the comotion that was going on outside because her master was watching football on TV with the volume blaring.

"That dog!" huffed her mistress as she came back into the living room "He had ahold of a ratty old tomcat in the garden!"

Tomcat? Bombarulina gulped, and listened more accutely to what her mistress was saying.

"Almost dead! If he hadn't gotten up and crawled away I'd have had Bob clean it up!"

Bombarulina stood up quickly, and paced from the front door to the lounge, her way of saying she needed out.

Her mistress waited a few moments then allowed her outside.

"SCAMP!!!" mewed Bombarulina, almost in tears "What have you done to the Tugger?"

"Who?" said Scamp angrily, because he had been clipped to the tree.

"That cat!!"

"Oh, I just ate him a little!" grinned Scamp.

Bombarulina could see the spots of blood on Scamp's muzzle.

"You bastard!" she scratched his face and fled the garden in search of the Rum Tum Tugger.

Bombarulina had no idea where to begin to look, there were a few tiny spots of blood ont eh ground and a vague scent telling her which direction the Tugger had limped in.

Half an hour of frantic searching later, and there was still no sign of the Tugger.

He wasn't at home, he wasn't at the junkyard ... Bomba sadly turned a corner and heard a soft whimpering noise coming from a large gorse bush in someone's garden.

"Tugger?!" she looked through the thick branches and thorns of the bush.

"Hmmm?"

"Tugger I can't get to you ... how did you get in there?"

"In a panic ..." he muttered "What brings you here?"

"Well ... you."

"Funny ... I could've sworn you had it set up so that would ha..happen."

"No!!! I would never, never do that!" Bomba was shocked "I'm coming in there."

She fought her way through the tangles of the bush and finally reached his side.

"Oh, Tugger ..." Scamp hadn't made it clear just how badly he'd hurt the Tugger, there was a gaping wound in the Tugger's body.

Bombarulina felt tears welling in her eyes again.

"Why ...?" he groaned.

"Was I so depressed?" she asked, fighting the tears as best she could.

"Yeah ..."

"It's a long story ..."

"Tell me it."

"Well ... somewhere during the time we were lost I realised a few things and it upset me."

"Like? ..."

"Like ... uh ..."

"Tell me, please ..."

"I realised how much I loved you Tugger!!!" she whispered "And ... I also realised that you would probably never return it in the same way ..."

"What ...?!" The Tugger's eyes opened wide and he stared at her, shocked.

Bombarulina couldn't meet his gaze.

"You're mad ..." he grinned.

"What?!" she snapped her head around to look at him.

"You're mad!"

Bombarulina looked hurt and a little confused.

"..well ..Why?"

"For not telling me before!" he struggled forward and kissed her, licking her entire face passionatley.

"Tugger I ...?" she couldn't even breathe properly "We need to get you some help."

Two weeks later, and the Tugger was back at the junkyard.

"None of you better laugh ..." he growled as he saw the others look at him, half pityingly and half laughing at him.

He had to wear a cone-collar.

Bombarulina ran out to meet him, ignoring his stitches and his fabulous new headgear.

As they licked each other joyously, the kittens watched in supreme jealously.

"I knew she was good." said Etcetera.

THE END

Disclaimer: I don't get any cash from writing this stuff, so don't sue me!

**author's note**

Did you like the way I portrayed the Tugger in this fic? I wasn't sure how to make this fic work, so I made it seem like the tugger was all reputation, and that he was really a sweetheart on the inside, and that he was also quite inexperience, despite his fnaclub of pretty kittens and some queens who trail him like his tail would.

If you hadn't guessed, I really think Bomba and the Tugger should be a couple! ;)

I also really LUUURVE Alonzo! 

So i'll be writing more about him in the future!

Thanx for reading!

Review please! Even if it's bad!


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